It is essential to have a healthy relationship with our extended family to maintain a peaceful environment for ourselves and others as we are all connected regardless of distance. .By doing this, we are also respecting and loving the family that is closer to us.

This does not mean to ignore negative emotions when conflict arises, but more importantly by creating a non-toxic environment family will be able to express emotions congruently and with respect.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Frequently, people continue to cleave unto their mothers and their fathers… Sometimes mothers will not relinquish the hold they have had upon their children, and husbands as well as wives return to their mothers and fathers to obtain advice and counsel and to confide whereas cleaving should be to the wife in most things…”

As President Kimball said, as marriage ordinances are made, a new goal is being made; our Lord rejoices in unity and we must respect other family unit because at the end, we all have a divine goal to reach the presence of God as a family. All in all, it evident that in a family we cannot choose the different personalities we surround us with but we must remember as members of the church of Jesus Christ that families are sacred and have a dive purpose and with the Savior’s help we will be blessed by loving and forgiving others despite differences and unchanged situations.

From the article by Richard B. Miller titled, “Who Is the Boss?” stated, “When children become adults, the relationship between parents and children changes. In healthy families, the parents no longer exercise control or expect their adult children to obey them.”

We must understand that our children are individuals that they have capacity to lead their life therefore we must respect them. They are our children but when they become adults the relationship with them must change, they are responsible of their decisions and choices.

As Richard B. Miller, stated, “In healthy, well-functioning families, there is a clear hierarchy between parents and children. Parents are the “executive committee” and the “board directors” of a family. As with any other leadership position, parents should not be harsh, domineering, or dictatorial, but they are the leaders of the family, and the children need to follow that leadership.” But when children are adults they should lead their own life.

President Lorenzo Snow said, “Think of the promises that are made to you in the beautiful and glorious ceremony that is used in the marriage covenant in the temple. There is reserved promises for whose are commitment with the laws of Lord. Every day is an opportunity to progress and learn to be better.

President Kimball has warned us that “Infidelity is one of the great sins of our generation…” because we are exposed through social media we need be aware of the dangers that this generation. Respect your spouse, respect the covenants made in the Temple, President Lorenzo Snow advised, “Think of the promises that are made to you in the beautiful and glorious ceremony that is used in the  marriage covenant in the temple.” the family can be forever as I referred at the beginning of my post we must live on God’s perspective. If we are willing to obey and do our best.

“It is the destiny of men and women to join together to make eternal family units. In the context of lawful marriage, the intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself, for by that means men and women join in a process of creation and in an expression of love.”

– President Spencer W. Kimball, Intimacy in Marriage and The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 311

Appropriate actions of empathy through an efficient communication talking about what we feel, respecting decisions and supporting each other because we are individuals with different personality. Intolerance comes from the perfectionist or controller who seeks to change the spouse according to your wishes, however the most convenient is the effort to cause a positive change in the marriage. And how to do it? Asking to the Lord guidance and wisdom to do it.

Goddard advises: “When we love our partners the way they are, we don’t care if they change!” What a true and wise reflection because there is no perfect relationship, therefore we must love our partner with everything what we call defects. The best way to learn to be spouses for later to learn to be parents is through compassion, as Gottman suggests: “we can choose understanding, patience, and personal growth… find the glory in our marital story.” Again through free will we have the choice, the responsibility to choose to understand.

Elder Maxwell underscores this irony: “Consecration is the only surrender which is also a victory. It brings release from the raucous, overpopulated cell block of selfishness and emancipation from the dark prison of pride. Pride is something that damages and destroys that it hurts and damages love. It helped me a lot to learn what James E. Faust stated: “If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being.

We need to the Lord in our lives because He helps us to forgive, He softens the feelings of anger and disappointment through pray and meditate Why things happen? What is the purpose? I do not know but through challenges we can strengthen faith that everything will be better, that if something does not work out, it is because we did something wrong and there is something to learn, but we need to have patience and hope.

President Benson stated: “Most of us think of pride a self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of there are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still messing. The central feature of pride is enmity –enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen.”

Pride natural of a man that leads to destruction, unfortunately we fall easily into this sin, sometimes due to misunderstanding circumstances such as assumptions that give rise to pride, who loves more yields and creates healthy environment.

As we learned on reading assignments,  solution for pride  is in repentance and have the influence of our Lord in our lives, but it is a topic of choice, the antidote for pride is humility, meekness, submissiveness, by forgiving those who have offended us, by rendering selfless service, by going on missions, by getting to the temple more frequently, led ourselves be carried away by the Lord.

I was wondering about the causes of pride, what elements of live lead us to pride? Is power, money, race, culture? I think that it is ignorance, we are all equal, we are valuable human beings who deserve respect. There are differences between pride and dignity it is common to confuse this precepts.

What President Benson advices us submitting our will to His, what a beautiful blessing, three times in the Doctrine and Covenants recommended “beware of pride” in marriage, in family ways in which pride affects us is through the claim to achieve our desires over others. A proud person hates the fact that someone is above him. Why? If we are vulnerable beings with imperfections, what we should  do is have a behavior that relies on solid and high values taking into account gender equity on marriage and from  persuasion and conciliation lead our family asking for guide and support to our Heavenly Father though His Holy Ghost.

There are strategies, attitudes or tools that we should consider apply one of them that captivated my attention was: “Take your partner’s side”, because I sometimes trying to solve problem with honesty and I didn’t agree with my husband so I stood next to justice what I learned the point isn’t be dishonest but give emotional support it is common we confuse support for advice, therefore we need to be there for our partner, “to see the world from his or her perspective and to empathize with negative feelings.” (p.103)

On the other hand due to our own imperfections and excessive individualism we need in our lives for successful marriage the gospel of Jesus Christ, President Gordon B. Hinckley has counseled us about the danger of focus on self in marriage: “I find selfishness to be the root cause of most of the problems that lead to broken homes… there is a remedy for (selfishness)… The remedy for most marriage stress is not in divorce. It is in repentance. I recognized what President Hinckley stated is true thinking on couples who get married repeatedly without achieving stability so faith in the Lord Jesus Christ showing respect to His covenants and asking for help in order to have His direction and guidance.

To try to think of some positives, even if it were difficult it was the advice for smart marries, I once heard that it is a mistake to marry when you are in love because you do not see defects in the couple that once married highlight them, the reality is that we all have flaws, Elder Christensen stated: “Avoid ceaseless pinpricking. Don’t be too critical of each other’s faults. Recognize that none of us s perfect…”

Also, President Kimball points out that generally each of us is painfully aware of our weaknesses, and we don’t need frequent reminders.

I think that feelings transcend and changed, for good and for bad feelings transcend endure even after death that is why it is our duty to generate ties of love in marriage President Hinckley said: “…actions will cultivate a constantly rewarding appreciation for one another” I do not feel the same love for my dear husband through 32 years of marriage has changed is different because we have taken care and faithfully cultivated with rituals, dinner at home, flowers and special dinners in anniversaries, we went for a walk together, prayers together, we watch shows together, we travel together, on Sunday in the church we both share our testimony, sharing life together has strengthened our relationship that does not mean that we have the same tastes or preferences but that we enjoy being together enjoying mutual well-being there is respect, loyalty, and mutual love.

As President Eyring stated: “we can be better as long we live… He prepares the way” the gospel for Jesus Christ has guided our marriage since we performed that sacred ordinance there have been challenges and mistakes that we have solved for the interest we have for each other.

“Our Family Can Be Together Forever.” The word: “can” means possibility predisposed to fidelity to sacred covenants related to exaltation, President Brigham Young advises us: “Our families are not really ours yet. The Lord has entrusted it to us to know how we will treat them, only if we are faithful, will they be given to us forever. What we do on earth will determine whether or not we will be worthy of becoming heavenly parents”

There are no perfect marriages because there are no perfect people, in this week I enjoyed what Elder Joseph Wirhling stated: “but true love lasts forever… even when we make mistakes…The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation” I knew the gospel of Jesus Christ through my husband and I recognize that the knowledge of the law of the Lord has helped in my marriage to put it in a positive balance during 32 years of marriage.

I think, the union of the couple must be respected because marriages are sacred sometimes friends, family or work interfere for bad the influence to external complicate the marriage relationship when we do not put our spouse first. I agree with my own experience that applying positive interactions such as express verbal affection reduces tension and stress showing interest between each other as well also in order to achieve an approach, we need to have empathy for a better connection. It is common to find couples with different perspectives but has a pleasant relationship despite their differences because as we learned: on positive interactions “validation doesn’t mean agreement but it does signal respect,” tolerance, patience, and understanding between couples. I recognize that my husband has taught to be humble, patient and develop skills to increase my well-being because he supports me to do what I want to do, I am free instead I am married, I am an individual.

The natural man is the enemy of God, the selfish man, who offends, who attacks in word and deed is against the will of God, I liked the question about what we can do to increase harmony, spiritually, and build up the kingdom of God. My husband and I have challenges that together we face felling peace and confidence to the Lord, the harmony of our marriage was a process of maturity through work and wills on both sides, we do not allow lies, deceptions or offenses because of love and respect.

President Joseph Fielding Smith said: “The covenant on the Lord’s part is that if a man does as he promises.” I have always liked to emphasize what means “if” we are conditioned to the Lord because who must be trustworthy are we, certainly all promises are reserved for those who are worthy of obtaining them, through fidelity and obedience to sacred ordinances related to salvation that only can be done in the Lord’s temple. As we learned from President Ezra Taft Benson: “…when we attend the temple and perform the ordinances that pertain to the House of the Lord, certain blessings will come to you.

What prevents us from getting them? In my opinion, because we do not understand the doctrine of the Father’s plan of happiness relative as well to the plan of redemption, so firstly we must learn, understand and apply the doctrine.

As we learned Marriage is essential for His eternal plan and covenant marriage implies between men and women their best efforts in order to progress together toward exaltation. It sounds complicated considering all challenges such as adversities, crisis for which the family is exposed, but understanding the meaning of marriage through the sealing power restored by Elijah, that enable us to return to His presence, and that we shall gain an everlasting inheritance with Him through keeping His commandments every effort is worth it.

Recently my husband and I talked about our marriage how over the years has experienced nice and difficult situations but always with the Lord into our lives, that makes a difference a big and great difference because in the Lord we put our confidence and well-being He is good and protects us against everything that can destroy our union. The Holy Ghost that we can feel in His temple has helped us, Fridays at least twice a month we attend the temple and then we will have dinner at a restaurant, at the beginning of this year 2020 every night together we are reading The Book of Mormon, I do not allow indifference between us and I try to share with him my days with authenticity for eternal marriage.